A quote I’ve been meaning to post for some time:
“Unfortunately I’m not a person, I’m an attorney.”
– Mark Lippman, Casey Anthony’s parent’s lawyer
George is doing great. Not sleeping very much (at least not at night), but he’s healthy and doing well. In the last two weeks he gained 6 percent of his body weight. That would be like me gaining 11 pounds in two weeks. Or Rosie O’Donnell gaining 21. You get the idea.
Over the course of my limited fathering experience I’ve had many revelations about babies. Most of them are not very revelatory at all, at least not in the true sense of new discovery. I did have an idea that does seem new however. I will start it here and now:
If Babies Were Adults
If babies were adults, men could wear dresses as long as the dresses were blue. Assumption: said men are heterosexual and the dress is therefore novel.
If babies were adults, they would have 5 different chairs which they would try to sit in at night and none of them would be comfortable. They would complain until someone brought them a snack. Then they would go to sleep. Repeat.
If babies were adults, they would fall asleep at the wheel. Every time.
If babies were adults, they would all be androgynous. Bar pick-ups and relationships would occur entirely based upon a shirt color and/or the presence or lack of a pink barrette hair bow.
If babies were adults, no one would invite them to parties because they would drink 1 beer and pee their pants. Then when the host tried to help them, they would barf on the host.
More to follow.
The photos today were snapped with my handy dandy Droid cell phone. They are of George. And a prison bus.
More to follow. Believe me.
Eva submitted some pictures of Sydney to a little website called The Daily Puppy. By “little” I of course mean that if you Google “puppy” or “puppies” it’s the 2nd result. So Eva submitted the aforementioned photographs in the hopes of young Syd being selected as a daily puppy. All of our hopes and dreams were realized when not only was young Sydney the Schnoodle selected as a daily puppy, but he was in fact selected to represent the entire nation of puppies on this, our Day of Independence. So congratulations to Sydney. And to our unborn son George: you now have even more to live up to. (Click here to see Sydney’s winning profile on The Daily Puppy.)
Happy 4th of July.
Well the due date has come and gone, and as of this writing Eva is still very much pregnant. Below are three child related shots: one of Eva as of yesterday, one of George’s current and final room set up, and one of an ice cream van that I would never let George even look at let alone approach. This person’s business model bucks societal norms and people’s intrinsic risk aversion. He has put minimal effort into image and seems to not really care much about the perception of potential patrons. His products look shoddy and out of date. He deserves a bail out.