As I lay in bed reading Atlas Shrugged the other night, I put the book on my chest and allowed my mind to wander. I thought of nothing in particular. This and that. The TV in our room was on and I glanced over. At the time, the Saints were losing and defeat seemed imminent. I never give Drew his due. I peered through my bug net, the room’s darkness compounded by the net absorbing the light from my bed-mounted reading lamp. My wandering gaze eventually reached the bunk-bed across the room. On the top bunk rested my roommate Lincoln, on his back with his laptop on his chest as he watched an episode of The Office. I looked at this and thought nothing in particular. Then I realized that what I was really looking at was a 30 year old, married, college graduate with an infant daughter. On a top bunk. He was laying there nary 2 feet above a 27 year old, married, college graduate with a 1 year old son. It was a very funny revelation. Then I turned off my light and went to sleep. On a bottom bunk.
We caught a camel spider in our office today. I saw it scurry out from under the table at which I sit. We put the disgusting little creature in a decapitated water bottle. We went outside and found a giant beetle and dropped it into the water bottle in hopes of providing the camel spider with sustenance and us with entertainment. It was very anticlimactic. The beetle couldn’t get off its back and the camel spider couldn’t bite through the beetle’s exoskeleton, try as he might. I lost interest in the bottom-of-the-food-chain-ballet and went outside in search of a specimen which the camel spider would find more appealing. Or at least more defenseless. I didn’t see a single bug. This is significant, people. I’m in Iraq–there are ALWAYS bugs. Not this time. We released the camel spider outside after I snapped the below photograph with one of my co-worker’s point and shoots. He seemed relieved. The camel spider that is. When it was all over I realized that there was very little reaction to the fact that this giant, hideous creature was in our office. I think reactions in a workplace in the US might have been slightly different.
My internet connection out here has been particularly terrible of late. I apologize for the infrequency of my updates. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to get us flawless and speedy internet out here in the middle of the desert with no infrastructure.
Iraq, Point & Shoot
There hasn’t been much going on here lately to write about. I’ve been reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand for about a year. I break up the verbose pro-capitalistic diatribes with easier reads. I’m on page 620 right now. Out of 1100 or so. And the print is small, small, small. I’ll lay down in bed and read two pages. It’s pathetic.
The war is coming along nicely. I hit the 6 month mark in 3 days. Eva and I go on leave together toward the end of November. The Army is flying us to Paris. People are jealous that I get to see my wife periodically over here. I tell them they could see their wife too. All she has to do is go to Officer Candidate School, then go to an Officer Basic Course, then work on getting to the same Brigade as her husband, then when the next deployment comes around they can deploy together and they’ll have an opportunity to see each other too. It’s easy! Usually they stop harassing me after that.
I was watching Man vs. Wild the other day and Bear Gryllz ate a camel spider.
Top: Seoul in 2008 with a Canon Rebel xSi DSLR
Bottom: West Point, NY in 2005 with a Canon Elph point and shoot
Point & Shoot, Seoul, Korea, West Point, NY
“If it stings you, your heart can stop in 20 minutes.”
That’s how our resident doctor here on lovely FOB Hunter described a scorpion which one of our Air Force comrades found under his bed. You see, creepy crawlies are so prevalent here that there are posters, well, posted around which have pictures of the more common, and, while not necessarily common, more dangerous critters as well. The deadly vermin which our Zoomie brother discovered lurking below his mattress matched a scorpion on the top and most dangerous/deadly row. Also, its name is, and I’m not making this up, the Death Stalker. Awesome. What I needed was a scorpion in the bedroom refresher course.
I’m reading ‘The Road’ by Cormac McCarthy right now. It’s actually my roomate Lincoln’s and he hasn’t read it yet. He’s on leave right now however, so as far as I’m concerned that means I can do whatever I want with anything he left behind. He didn’t lock anything up. In the Army I wouldn’t be guilty of using his stuff. He’d be guilty of failing to secure his belongings.
The shot today is of, from L to R, my sister Erin, my wife Eva, my mom Julie, my sister Laura, and my grandmother Mimi. The photo was taken in my parent’s condo in Chicago. You know, Chicago, the place where all minority honor roll students are beaten to death.
Chicago, IL, Eva, Iraq
Some of my more attentive readers may have noticed that I said I’d post pictures of the recent extreme bikers and that to date, as of yet, I have not. I’m a man of my word. That being said, let me tell you how lame it feels to refer to them as “extreme bikers.” But I don’t really know what else to call them. What’s the opposite of precocious? Kidding, kidding… In reality they were really talented, really nice, and it was very generous of them to visit us out in the middle of nowhere. They had intended just to come for a meet and greet. Then they asked if there was any wood they could build ramps with. Fortunately they had their ramp designer with them who happened to be the same guy that designs the ramps for the X-Games and Gravity Games. We pooled together some wood, the designer hashed out some quick measurements and designs, they started building, and two hours later they put on a two hour show. We really appreciated it. One of my co-workers, 1LT Torres, is our Squadron Public Affairs Officer and he wrote an article about it. He used my pictures which can also be seen on that page so I’m only posting one; you can check out the rest in his article. His article has an interesting story about an unintentional reunion. Give it a look.
Iraq
“The land of gumdrops and lollypops.” That’s what my roommate Mitch calls Tallil Air Base, which is where I am right now. Let me tell you something: he’s right. This place is ridiculous. Granted, it’s all a matter of perspective but honestly. I’m about to outline all of the things that make this place better than the FOB I live on. I live on FOB Hunter. After everything I mention, I will include either (OH) for On Hunter, or (FUCNO) for Findings Unclear: Currently Not an Option. Here we go.
Right now, I’m sitting in a CHU, or a Container Housing Unit (FUCNO), which has running water (FUCNO), a shower (OH), and a toilet (FUCNO). I’m writing this whilst connected to relatively fast internet (FUCNO) and I’m sipping a Cafe Americano which I purchased at the local Green Bean Coffee Shop (FUCNO). Yesterday I went to the gym (OH) which had loads and loads of dumbbells (FUCNO) and two sets of virtually every weight imaginable (FUCNO). All the equipment at the gym was American made (FUCNO) and therefore solidly constructed and safe (FUCNO). After the gym I went to the, for all intents and purposes, full size PX (FUCNO) to get some necessities. After the PX it was off to the KBR DFAC (FUCNO). For most readers, here’s a translation: a ‘KBR DFAC’ is a dining facility run by the American contracting company Kellogg, Brown & Root. KBR DFACs serve cornucopias of delicious food (FUCNO) and have such delicacies as hot and cold sandwich bars (FUCNO), salad bars (FUCNO), ice cream bars (FUCNO), endless amounts of soda (FUCNO), fresh cut fruit (FUCNO), and various other delights. These are just some of the benefits of Tallil. There is plenty here I will not miss when I go back to Hunter however. Such as being a stone’s throw away from Brigade, being around more field grade officers than the world needs, and having to take the bus everywhere because this place is so inconceivably enormous. What’s even more mind blowing is that this place is tough living compared to some other FOBs in Iraq. It’s all a matter of perspective.
The photo today is of the famed Opera House in Sydney. I took this with a point & shoot 20 or so minutes after Eva and I got engaged right outside the Opera House. From now on, whenever we see the Opera House we’ll be able to say “That’s where we got engaged.” I think that’s pretty cool. We got engaged there over two years ago. I think that’s pretty crazy.
UPDATE: If the photos on my website look stretched out to you, it’s probably because you upgraded your browser to Internet Explorer 8. There is a coding issue with IE8 and it interprets WordPress CSS theme code incorrectly. To fix the issue, up near your browser’s address bar, there is a button next to the “Refresh” and “Stop” buttons which looks like a piece of paper torn in half. This is the “Compatibility View” button and it basically makes the browser read the WordPress code like it did before.
Iraq, Sydney, Australia