Hi, my name is Rick.

After the following email, Michael Collins never wrote back.  I think I might have taken it too far.

From: Rick
Date: Fri, 19 Feb 2010 05:22:30 -0700
Subject: Re: Identification: You yell “Ooyester”
To: Michael Collins <jdcertifiedconsultant@gmail.com>

“Michael,

I thanks to you.  This is an excitement time for us!  How much money we will make together!  Yahoo!

Thank you for your information to me, thank you.  I am so excited to hear of the “accumulated interest” for the past years.  I don’t even remember that I made an investment but if the interest is due to me then how excellent!  I am lucky you found me on the internets!  There are so many internets and you found me on the one I use.  What luck!  Please use the address on the ID I provided to further process the informations with the law attorney.  Unfortunately my official goverment job is of so secret a level that I can’t have a phone.  I hope we can continue with the investements of opportunity by working on the email on this internets.  Please advice!

Please, if it is not too much to ask, can we begin using code names for our emailing?  I am starting to get nervous about spies.  I will begin using the name “Meredith the Lionheart”.  Please advice me what code name you will use.

If I send you more money, will you be able to invest it for the 30% you said I can get with the investment stock return money option?  Please!  I like to strike while the kettle is black.

Thank you again.

My favorite quote is: “This is the most fun, the most glory, the most of everything.  Now pass me the wine you toad fingered shallot.  I will drink it to you, and me.  And poetry too!”  – Shake Spear

Thank you,
Meredith the Lionheart”

The picture today is one that my civilian friends and family will think is quite cool, but one which my Army friends and co-workers will make fun of me to no end for posting.  So be it.  It’s of me near the Iraqi Department Of Border Enforcement border fort of Al Hwuza about 15 or so km from the Iranian border.  I went to the border fort to inspect some work which the contractor had “completed.”  You have not seen shoddy work until you’ve seen contracted Iraqi work.

Iraq, Leonardo Matilda Shukran, Rick

The internet on FOB Hunter stopped working all together.  So I left.  Now I’m on COB Adder with Eva and I’ll be here until I leave Iraq.  I’ll try to update more frequently, but I am still working so we’ll see.  Please enjoy Episode 3… bear in mind that this guy I was writing is dead serious.  What’s crazy is that there are people who are really as stupid as he thought I was.  Bummer.

From: Rick
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:11:16 +0300
Subject: Re: Get back to Me Leo
To: Michael Collins <jdcertifiedconsultant@gmail.com>

“My Dearest Freind Michael,

Thank you very much for the persistint email.  You have passed my test!  I wanted to make sure that you were interested in the business oportunity and since you have emailed me again I know that you are interested and want to make this an official business!  I am interested in stocks too.  Also investing.

Please, Michael, I needs you to understand me.  I am a very high influential, person.  I am not comfortable giving you too much information before I know more about you.  To make it evenly, I am including a high quality digital image computer techno scan of my identification.  I’m sure you have the MYA2FI system to verify the credentials which this ID contains.  With your level of investment expertness I would be very surprised if you did not!  Please let me know if the ID processing meets your initial requirements.  I thank you.  Thanks.

Now, about you.  Please answer these questions for me so I can documentary your data for my own investment portfolio information system.  First, the important business questions:

What Is Your Favorite Company?
Do You Invest?
How Much Money Can I Make Working With You?

Now, more personal questions so I can get to no you better as a person and freind:

How Old Are You?
Are You With Childrens?
Do You Like Art Or Music Better?
Have You Traveled To Asia?
How Are You?

Please, Michael, please, I am interested in the oportunities with you and your company and business.  I hope to hear back from you soon.

Thank you again very much my good freind.
Leonardo”

This is the ID I sent him which he bought hook, line and sinker.  What a dum dum.

On 2/18/10, Michael Collins <jdcertifiedconsultant@gmail.com> wrote:

“My Good Friend Leo,

Your detailed email was received with thanks and all the contents is well understood.

Firstly, I must commend you for your efforts and your advice too, because I think stocks is also very good investment so to say.

Secondly, I now understand why you are not comfortable in releasing your informations; knowing how influential you are.  “I’m assuring you that every information MUST be kept top secret/confidential” as far as this opportunity is concerned.

What Is Your Favorite Company? “British Government (Immigration Dept.)”
Do You Invest? “Not really”
How Much Money Can I Make Working With You? 30%
How Old Are You? “53 yrs” by “20/11/2010”
Are You With Childrens? “(2) a girl and a boy”
Do You Like Art Or Music Better? Music better
Have You Traveled To Asia? “No”
How Are You? Am Fine.

According to the attorney’s briefing, he said that the bank has confirmed that the “accumulated interest” for the past years, which means apart from US$15,381,000 Million + (interest) should be paid in your favour; But, due to the fact that we have not furnish them with the full information, he was unable to ascertain the actual amount. If you give me the authority to use the address in your id, maybe by tomorrow the attorney will conclude all the documentations.  Please, answer this question asap because tomorrow is Friday, so that he will conclude tomorrow.

With all due respect sir, which address should we use in the form; your id address or should you provide your residential address?  Also, I understand your status, but you need a telephone number which you can be contacted with, incase the bank want to call you or me.  Am working on the telephone which you can reach me with, so you must have to arrange yours also.

However, According to the attorney, everything is almost ready, he said that as soon as he submit the forms/documents (from the court), then we will know what is the next action.

Finally, he advice that you endeavour to make available the remaining information so that he will conclude his legal representation with us.  Leo my friend, I am looking forward is meeting with you as soon as possible.  Have a wonderful day!  Are you married too?

Thank you once again.
Michael.”

Here’s a picture of beautiful Iraq for you to enjoy.  After you look at this you’ll probably wonder why I want to leave at all.

Iraq, Leonardo Matilda Shukran

The Michael Collins saga continues.  In Episode 2, Michael tries to get more personal information about Leonardo.  He succeeds… in Episode 3.  Stay tuned.

From: Michael Collins
Date: Mon, 15 Feb 2010 13:51:13 +0100
Subject: Confirm Receipt
To: Rick

“Dear Leonardo,

I appreciate your wonderful mail to me. I read your mail and all the contents is well noted.

With all due respect sir, i would love you to give me more information about your humble self, knowing fully well that any information pertaining to you MUST be kept secret. Let me know more about you, your business (”finding me and my business”). Are you married, all that i suppose to know? I would want you to tell/advice me in which direction you deem necessary we are going to make this investment.

Moreso, i will need the following informations, before i will commence in any documentation am going to do on your behalf.

1. Full Name (confirmed)
2. Residential address
3. Telephone for easy communication
4. Id. (Driver’s License or International passport).

Sequel to the above, i cannot apply to the authorities, parastatals and the bank without your full informations. please note that all these are very important information for the good start of this business; also it will boost more trust, knowing fully well what it takes to enturst on Mr. Leonardo Matilda Shukran and you entrust on Michael Collins. Also, Mr. Joseph Yohanna Hoponu also ENTRUST on both of us to actualize his dream.

Finally, i await your response so that we will commence. Attached herewith is the identification of my client for your perusal. Endeavour to confirm receipt.

Respectfully,
Michael.”

From: Michael Collins
Date: Thu, 18 Feb 2010
Subject: Confirm Receipt
To: Rick

“Dear Leo,

I am still expecting to hear from you regarding the information we to commence in the claims. Your urgent response will be highly appreciated in other to commence.

Regards,
Michael.”

To please those of you uninterested in the Michael Collins saga, I am posting a completely unrelated picture.  This is a panoramic shot of my side of the room here on lovely COS Hunter.  I auto-stitched it in Photoshop from 12 source images.  This is a compressed version of the image… the original is 51MB.

Iraq, Leonardo Matilda Shukran

Let me set the stage.  My roommate Lincoln got a phishing email from someone with a great business opportunity for him.  He found it in his spam folder.  He read it to me.  I decided it was our responsibility, our duty, to respond to the offer.  There was an initial mass form email which initially caught our attention.  Unfortunately we were unable to locate the original back and forth so I’m forced to start the postings with his reply to our initial response to the mass phishing email.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  It’s a serial.

On 2/12/10, Michael Collins wrote:

“Dear Mr. Ward,

I am in receipt of your response in which you indicate your interest in the business proposal. In my second message to you will consists of my client’s identification(s) for you to know him in person. And i would like you to make available your full details/data for my perusal.

Secondly, my clients is currently in asylum here in England from Haiti; that’s why i am contacting you on his behalf because he cannot be able to do things his own way.

SOURCE OF THE FUNDS

Thirdly, on Wednesday June 16, 2004; their Lordships, Rt. Hon. Lord Queremos Eligir (Presiding Justice), Rt. Hon. Lord Antonio Chavez, Rt. Hon. Lord Gilberto Miguez (Appeal No: FCA/V/4018/0); the case of MSSRS EUGENIA MORIENTES OF MPRIENTES & PARTNERS and my client (MR. JOSEPH YOHANNA HOPONU) was in favour of my clients and Mssrs Eugenia Morientes of Mprientes & Partners) was ordered to pay my client the payment of US$15,381,000 Million due for the products he supplied to them. (See Documents for your records) Confirmed receipt!

Sequel to the above, my clients have decided to front you to represent him in making the claims, since the maturity of the deposits have been due. Note that “Power of Attorney” will be assign to you from this chambers on behalf of my client: and all the conditions will be stated clearly for better understanding of both parties. With all due respect sir, we implore you to tell us more about you and also forward all the required data as follows to enable this chambers review and endorse the papers upon the agreement of both parties. My clients has agreed on the ratio of 65% for investment, 30% for you and 5% to cover all expenditures therein respectively.

a) Your full name and address
b) Your telephone number(s) for communication
c) Your identification
d) Your occupation/age

Finally, we await for your prompt action.

Regards,
Michael.”

The following is the “client’s identification(s) for you to know him in person” which this guy sent as evidence of his validity.  Please really take a good look at it.  It is spectacular.  And convincing.

On Sun, Feb 14, 2010 at 3:47 PM, Rick wrote:

“Mr. Collins,

Thanks you so much for your quickly response. I’m sorry if I didn’t write you back more sooner. I have heard a lot about scams on the internets and I am very nervous about good deals–even if they are good! I am very, very interested in learning more about your business proposals. I have read the documentaries you provided for me to read and learn about for my own learning about your business. I really like what I see. However, there is something I need to tell you. My real name is Leonardo Shukran. I made a gmail address that sounded like a real name to keep scammers on the internets from finding me and my business. When I read your email though, I knew it was real. That is why I wrote you back. I have read the official government documentaries you sent and they are very good. I have decided to continue to work with you to ensure our most business profitability stock market earnings. Please find the necessary informations below.

Full Name: Leonardo Matilda Shukran
Telephone #: I do not have a telephone number that can be released just yet because of my job.
Identification: You yell “Ooyester” and I’ll respond “Excite!” and then that’s how you’ll know it’s me. (When we meet for the business meeting of course!)
Occupation: The Goverment
Age: 48

Please Michael, let me know what else I need to do to continue with your offer. Thank you so much for the oportunity!

V/R,
Leonardo”

And so it began.  It only got better from here.  Stay tuned.

Leonardo Matilda Shukran