Hi, my name is Rick.

I’ve been unbelievably busy the last 3 or so weeks.  I have a new job which is above my pay grade (quite literally) and Sydney has been keeping us up at night.  Lots of work with little sleep does not a good combination make.  It’s getting better though.

The shots today are pretty random.  They have been sitting in my “Future Posts” folder for an indeterminate amount of time and I finally decided to post them all at once to get them out of that folder.  Could I have just removed them at any time?  Of course.  But they were in the “Future Posts” folder.  So I had to post them.  Obviously.

Abstract, Chicago, IL

When Ed Hardy jumps the shark, the shark will be wearing a sweet Ed Hardy screen print t-shirt and drinking some Hypnotiq out of an Ed Hardy tumbler.  Which I’ve actually seen.

Abstract

I wish I knew where to attribute this, but I heard it from someone recently , I think in Chicago, when Eva and I went there for Memorial Day…  I’ve heard that people that speak three languages are trilingual, people that speak two languages are bilingual and people that speak one language are American.  I always thought this was a fairly solid illustration of our culture of superiority.  It’s always embarrassing to travel to Europe and default speak English when almost everyone there speaks their own language, English and generally a couple other languages as well.  It makes us seem like uncultured dregs.  What we fail to realize as we default accept the fact that we are culturally inferior to the Europeans is that when you live in Europe, if you drive two hours in any direction you have to speak a different language.  If you live in France and travel anywhere outside of the country, you will need to speak English because it’s the great equalizer.  In America on the other hand, you can basically travel 12+ hours in any direction regardless of where you live and everyone will still speak English.  Couple that with the fact that English is the international language of business and the fact that the US dollar is currently the global standard for currency, and it seems more and more like we should only speak English.  Plus we’re better than everyone else in the world.  So there’s that too.

The photo today is one which I took out a plane window.  Hover your mouse over the photo and you’ll see what I called it to trick creepy Googlers.  Next time I’ll let you know how many of said creepy Googlers happened upon my website via that particular search phrase.  So look forward to that!

Abstract

I think global warming and “going green” are the modern day equivalents of McCarthyism.

Illegal immigrants in Arizona are protesting legislation which aims to verify citizenship.  Read that again.  A reporter asked the Governor of Arizona what an illegal immigrant looks like.  She couldn’t answer.  I can: they look Mexican… generally.  Offended?  I bet if you ask a Mexican what a terrorist looks like you wouldn’t be offended by their answer.

If I could punch Rachel Maddow in the face and get away with it, I would.  Actually, if I could punch her and just get in a little trouble, I would.

I was in an El Paso Wal-Mart today for 25 or so minutes and I didn’t hear the English language spoken once.

Baseball players are smug.

I really, really wish Joe Montana wasn’t endorsing those rocking-shoe soled Sketchers.

The best thing about neck tattoos is that you never regret them.

Fact: HDTV makes reality look more realer.  I can even watch the NBA in HD and that’s really saying something.

I wish I liked baseball.  I also wish I liked scotch.  I think the likelihood of either is the same.

I’ve locked myself out of my house three times since I got back from Iraq.  That means that I’m a dumb-ass.

Radical Islam

In celebratory anticipation of Eva’s return, I’m posting a shot I grabbed of soldiers waiting to fly home.  I was waiting too.

Abstract, Kuwait

That title is admittedly misleading.  I’m sure there are some very strange and very disappointed Googlers reading this right now.

Can anyone enlighten me as to why the NFL decided to suspend Michael Vick for the first three games of the season?  I find it perplexing.  If the time he spent in prison wasn’t sufficient punishment, then why didn’t the State sentence him to a longer sentence?  I don’t get it.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think dog fighting is acceptable by any stretch.  But what was the basis for his suspension if not to punish him more for something he was already punished for?  I’m not a fan of that.  I’m sure it was to appease PETA and other animal rights groups.  What the NFL failed to take into consideration is the fact that nobody in PETA watches the NFL because PETA is entirely comprised of middle-aged single women and homosexuals.  That’s a fact by the way.  I got it from the last census.

The first shot today is of a scale replica of Fat Boy, the nuclear bomb which was dropped over Nagasaki, Japan.  I just find it astounding that the US dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan.  It sounds so ridiculous now.  The second shot is more abstract and is of some naked tree branches against a bright blue sky over Lake Michigan near Lincoln Park in Chicago.

Abstract, Chicago, IL, White Sands, NM

My coworkers and I have started identifying catch phrases which have saturated the Army’s vernacular.  Some of them likely permeate the “civilian sector” as well.  I wouldn’t really know since I’ve never worked for anyone but the government, and, more specifically, the Army.  (I enlisted in 2000, fully intending to get out immediately following my 2 year commitment.  That was nine years ago.)  People in the Army say some ridiculous things.  Enjoy.

Civilian Sector – The side of the fence with the really green grass.  In the civilian sector I even hear you can walk on said green grass… what a concept.

“Trackin’?” – “Do you understand what I just said?” or “Are you already on top of this?”  Indeed a very versatile phrase.

Shadow Track – This is a derivation of the classic “trackin’.”  This means you are supposed to stay abreast of something even though you’re not really responsible for it.  When someone sends you an e-mail that tells you to “shadow track” something, they may as well be sending you an e-mail that tells you to “delete this e-mail immediately.”

“I’m not gonna tell you how to suck the egg.” – “I’m not going to micro-manage you, just get it done.”  This one seems somehow offensive to me, though I’m not sure exactly how.  I think it’s the “gonna” part.  Improper English is offensive.

Azimuth Check – When you learn dismounted land navigation, (civilian terms: walking around in the wilderness with a map and compass), you use a lensatic compass.  Navigation requires “shooting an azimuth,” or pointing yourself in the correct direction using the map and compass.  If you walk too far and don’t check your azimuth, you’ll likely get off course.  So getting an “azimuth check” is a way to ensure you’re figuratively headed the right way.

“Are you smart on _______?” – “Are you capable of explaining _________ to me?”

Way Ahead – Where we go from here.  I hate this one.

Glide Path – This is a great one.  I don’t really have any idea what it means.  I think it means you’re on the path to finishing and there shouldn’t be any more problems… or the mission is driving itself perhaps?  I don’t know.  Someone needs to put me on the glide path to understanding glide path.  I hate “glide path” more than “way ahead,” and that’s really saying something.

Peeling Back the Onion – Figuring out what’s really going on by asking a bunch of questions catalyzed by the questions leading up to it.

Friction Point – Something that’s going to give us trouble.

“It is what it is.” – “I don’t feel like going into any further detail on the current topic of conversation so please drop it because you’re really starting to piss me off.  Seriously, I already know it sucks so quit complaining.  Go away.  You’re making me want to injure you.”  Or something to that effect.

Utilization – God forbid we say “use.”  In the Army nobody uses anything, they “utilize” it.

Orientate – An incorrect use of the word “orient.”  Example: “Let me orientate you to the training site.”  This is the Army equivalent of “irregardless.”

These were only a few of the little gems we in the Army hear almost every day.  If I can compile more I’ll expand your minds again later.  The photo today is of some buildings in Chicago which just caught my eye.  I think they’re office buildings where people in the civilian sector work.

Abstract, Chicago, IL

Abstract, Rick

Scroll down a bit and look at the photo of the sign posted below so the rest of this makes sense…  So, what did I find strange about the sign?  Take a look at the face in the top right corner of the sign.  That, my friends, is Muqtada al Sadr.  If you scroll down to the 2006 section of that link (or click here) you’ll read about the al Sadr Mahdi army’s capture of Amarah.  Al Amarah is the nearest large city to where I am right now.  That probably explains the sign.  Either way, I’m not a big fan of seeing signs lauding, in any way, Mr. Muqtada.  He’s mean.  And his beard looks gross.

The photo today is an abstract shot from inside the loop in downtown Chicago.  Click the photo itself to check out my Flickr Photostream if you haven’t checked it out in a while.  It’s pretty sweet.  Trust me.

Abstract, Chicago, IL, Iraq

I had all the following shots in a folder on my computer marked for future posts.  Some of them, as you can undoubtedly see, are rather strange and/or random.  Many of them have been in the aforementioned folder for over a month or so as I had no idea as to any sort of applicable context.  I’m changing jobs here shortly, and, as such, will likewise be changing computers.  Since these shots were on what will soon be my former PC, I opted to simultaneously post them all before I delete them all from the hard drive.  Enjoy.

This is Eva in Vienna.

This is Eva with Humpty Dumpty in Vegas.  No crazy, not the real Humpty Dumpty; his security wouldn’t let us get near him.  This is his stunt double, but the similiarity is uncanny, believe me.

This is a close-up of the face of the creepy statue found near Eva’s Mom’s house in Maryland.

This is a shot of a full (or at least nearly) moon one night here in beautiful Iraq.

This is a shot of the Cook girls in Chicago.  I wanted to post this on its own, but I just ran out of time.

This is fire in a grill in Korea.

And finally, the hallway which led to our room at The Venetian in Vegas.

Abstract

So I was thinking about religion the other day.  The impetus?  I wish I could say it were something divine or otherwise spiritually moving, but, it was in fact an episode of ‘The Tudors’ wherein Thomas Moore, a devout Catholic during the reign of King Henry VIII, was persecuting and burning Protestants.  Or Lutherans.  Either way they weren’t Catholic and were therefore heretics.  Then came my revelation.  This revelation was also inherently a product of my current surroundings; the land of Islam.  My revelation goes thusly: People are always wondering who’s right.  Is it the Christians, the Muslims, the Buddhists, the (insert religion here)?   Everyone, of course, thinks their particular religion is the end-all-be-all and that everyone else is wrong.  What if, instead of wondering who and which religion is correct, we instead assume that almost every one is?  It would seem that God, being omnipresent and all knowing, would be smart enough to know that people of different cultures, in different global regions and with differing morals and familial values, would, as such, need different religious catalysts.  So, being omnipresent, he sent/appeared to/spoke through/etc. various different mediums over the course of history, and, continues to do so today.  He has to reach everyone somehow and one guy or one vision or one book simply wouldn’t get the job done.  How could it?  The problem of religious based conflict and persecution is, of course, inherently human, and that being said, as far as I know, none of the aforementioned religious mediums even approve of, let alone solicit, violence in their names.  So there you have it, my religious revelation by way of Showtime.

On a side note, I pose this question: Is there anything more patriotic than celebrating the 4th of July in Iraq?  I submit to you that there is not!

This is an abstract shot I took in DC.  Can you guess what it is?  The answer is hidden as a link somewhere in this post.

Abstract, Washington D.C.

Below is another shot I got of the bean in Chicago; there are infinite photo ops there in Millennium Park.  This became evident to my Dad and Eva as they stood by, patiently at first, whilst I took picture after picture after picture.  I consider this shot a self-portrait.

On an interesting note, Eva was able to fly out to my location the other day.  She arrived in a Blackhawk helicopter with a multitude of other people who came to my tiny little outpost to slum it up for the day.  I only got to see her for about two hours and we spent the majority of our time together in a meeting, walking around my base so she could see what he have (she actually came out here to complete a legitimate professional function), or hanging out in my office.  Regardless, it was great.  The second shot is one I grabbed of us while we sat in my office.

Editor’s Note:  Wily readers, and frequenters of this fine online publication, may note, correctly, that I am without moostaash in the second photo.  Let me explain.  Eva tried to surprise me with her visit; she failed to consider that I, like many of you readers, am also rather wily.  I saw through the charade immediately.  There were myriad clues which foretold her arrival, thereby defeating her attempts at said surprise.  She was working in conjunction with my Commander who, I would be remiss were I to not mention, had a hand in blowing said surprise as well.  Blowing the surprise was a group effort; going into the specific clues which effected said blown surprise would serve no purpose other than to confuse the, while wily, (as compared to the superior intellect of yours truly), simpleton minds of this site’s patrons.  Trust that the clues were aplenty.  I discussed with my Commander my summation that Eva was en route and he feigned defeated anger.  The cover being blown as it was, he also told me that Eva had sneakily requested that I both bathe and shave my moostaash prior to her arrival; given the planned surprise, my Commanderwas to somehow pass on these two requests without my realizing there was an alterior motive involved.  The showering was easy enough; I was overdue as it was.  The moostaash was a different story.  Judging by the picture below, however, you can see that I ultimately opted to shave as requested by my wife.  That’s true love, people.

Worry not.  The Moostaash shall return, and this time, it’s for real.

Abstract, Chicago, IL, Eva, Iraq, Rick

Today, Eva and I were driving to dinner.  It was about 7pm.  We were just driving along, when Eva’s phone rings.  ‘Hmm’ we thought, ‘who could that possibly be?’  Turns out, it was someone telling Eva she needed to get a shot.  Not just any shot; a shot that tested her for tuberculosis.  Oh, and she didn’t need to get it the next morning or the next day.  Oh no.  She needed to get it right then.  So we exited, drove to Ft. Bliss, went to a random First Sergeant’s office, and she got a shot.  On Monday night.  At 7:30pm.  Only in the Army.

This is the ceiling of a train station in Seoul; Noksapyeong Station to be exact.  I always thought it was cool.

Abstract, Seoul, Korea

For your enjoyment, here are two interpretations of one tree.  The top photo is the tree as a silhouette and the bottom is an HDR composite of the same tree.  The silhouette is cropped some, but it was taken from one of the HDR source images so it’s technically the same photo.  I took these near White Sands during the day-trip Eva and I took there.

That being said, Dennis Miller is spectacular.  I listen to him almost every day on AM 600 KROD here in El Paso.  I listen to him and Glenn Beck on that station.  Glenn Beck is also good… a little on the loony-toony-nutty crazy right wing side, but good just the same.  D Mils, however, is truly legit.  Yea, I call him D Mils.  In fact, I called him to clear his new nickname yesterday; he said it’s straight.  Didn’t you D Mils?  Oh, and he reads my site.  He calls me his muse.  Whatever.  (Good muses are indifferent.)

Abstract, HDR, White Sands, NM

This angel is a structural light anomaly which appears on a tent outside the Parthenon in Greece.  The tent serves Greek beer and a strange Greek snack food that’s somewhat like a mix between a hot pretzel and a Kalamata olive oil paste.  The shadow forms from sunlight shining through the ruins of the Parthenon every day between noon and 2:30 obviously depending on the season.  The beer/snack tent has a schedule posted and a viewing floor set up.  Eva and I got there about 4 hours early so we’d have a clear view.  The shadow lasts as pictured for about 45 seconds before it starts to degenerate.  I caught it more or less at its maximum clarity.  Interestingly, we intended only on seeing the Parthenon that day, having no idea this event occurred at all.  We saw this in 2003; the tent has since burnt down and one of the columns that created the shadow was sanded down by vandals.

(Having trouble seeing the whole image?  Click the photo and check it out on my Flickr page.)

Abstract, Las Vegas, NV

These docks are in downtown Chicago near the Shedd Aquarium.  I took this in late March so there were no boats yet.  This is the first shot I’ve posted with my new 100-300mm Canon lens; the lens gives me a new and interesting perspective on things.  More to follow from that bad boy.

Doesn’t Madonna the dum-dum realize there are kids in the US that need adopted?  I wish Barney Frank would eat her.  Her and Nancy Pelosi.  I think he’d get sick from the Pelosi though… she looks like she went bad a while ago.

(If you’re having trouble seeing the whole image on your monitor, click the photo and check it out on Flickr.  BTW this works with all my photo postings LOL TTYL)

Abstract, Chicago, IL

I’m sitting on the 25th floor of a condo building on the north side of Chicago.  I’ve taken a gajillion pictures here, but I didn’t bring my computer so I can’t open my Raw files to post any of the shots.  In good time my friends, in good time.  Due time?  Damn, in due time sounds better.  Maybe I should have written: “In due time my friends, in due time.”  Maybe instead of writing what I should have written I should have just deleted what I wrote and replaced it with what I suggested should have been written in its place.  Damnit.  I’ll never get this right.

We went to Second City last night.  Very funny.  The best skit went something like this:
Mother: “So you mean, he’ll like to draw and paint and sculpt?”
Doctor: “Oh goodness, did I say artistic?”

Eva and I are going to Vegas with Arch and Tiff this coming up weekend.  We’re balling at the Venetian.  Arch made the reservations and they said “You’re all confirmed Mr. Archuleta, you will be balling with us on the nights of the 27th, 28th, and 29th.”  He clarified and they confirmed our official status as “balling.”  Very strange; I’ll let you know if it’s true.

This is a shot taken from the front porch of our apartment in El Paso.

Abstract, El Paso, TX

Eva and I are in Chicago; it’s exceptional.  We saw “Jersey Boys” last night, and it too, like Chicago itself, was exceptional.  Real Jersey boys however, with their tattoos, their blowouts, their creatined muscles and their heinous orange glow are not exceptional.  Fortunately the show was not about that.  I suppose that show would be a stage interpretation of “Growing Up Gotti.”  That would be horrible.

This is a shot of a window from the stairwell leading to the top of St. Peter’s tower in Munich near the Glockenspiel.

Abstract, Munich, Germany

This is from Seoraksan National Park in Korea.  I took this in a gondola that took us up to a huge mountain peak which Eva and I summited.  It was life changing.  It was life and death at times.  It was at all times treacherous.  I’m exaggerating, it was quite republican.  It was cool though.  I love this picture; one of my favorites.

Here is a shot of us on the summit.  It’s Photoshopped somewhat significantly… see if you can tell where.

Eva and I are going on leave today; it’s the block leave our entire unit is taking before we both head to Iraq next month.  We’re going to Chicago, Hilton Head, Baltimore, and Vegas over the next 2 weeks.  We’re gonna be busy but it’s gonna be great.  That being said, I’ll try and update the site as frequently as possible but no promises.  Please be patient and check back for updates as I get to them.

Abstract, Eva, Seoul, Korea

Looking straight up in a church in Vienna.  Not sure what church it is.  If you are privy to which church this is, be sure and let me know.  I’m keeping this post short as my last one was overly verbose.  If you so choose, check out this shot I posted on Flickr yesterday; it’s more abstract than usual.  Update: It just occurred to me that if you classify something as “overly verbose” you are in effect making your classification in itself verbose, or at least redundant.  Intriguing.

Well, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this.  Deadbeats huh?  I hate the UN; what a useless institution.

Abstract, Vienna, Austria

My first attempt at this.  More to come in the future as I start actually taking photos intending to process them this way.  That being said, this kind of thing will decidedly NOT become my primary photographic focus.  I think it’s neat, I think it looks cool, but it’s gimmicky and I like regular pictures better.

I took this in Pittsburgh when Eva and I went there the weekend before our wedding.

Abstract, Pittsburgh, PA